Hey Gustavo… I don’t know if you remember me, but I was in your store about a month ago? I was the guy with the torn ACL. Anyway, I just wanted to give you a quick update on how your treatments and special home remedies were working out for me.
Simplicity in medicine is non-existent. I think that’s why I took to your methods so readily. Case in point: Breath in nature.
I swear, my knee felt better almost instantly.
Now, you said when I felt “aggressively tremendous pain”, I should, “breathe in deeply, so all of Mother Earth could be let in.” I was supposed to, “Let her gentle touch soothe me from inside out,” and then repeat the phrase, “Earth mother, take care of me!”
Getting out of the shower the other day I slipped, turning my knee in an awful direction. The pain was so blinding, I actually blacked out for several minutes. When I came to, I started your breathing exercises, but one quick question: Was I supposed to scream the, “Earth mother” stuff? Like—awful, horrifying, blood-curdling screams?
After another quick blackout, I awoke to find my girlfriend shoveling vicodin into my mouth. I did just what you told me to do in this scenario: I spit them out and told her, “This poison is not for me. If I want to harmonize with nature’s chorus and my emotional calliope, pollutants like this aren’t allowed!”
She called me an ass and forced them down my throat. Coincidentally, I felt better afterward, but I really believe it’s because of your breathing exercises and not from her corporate greed pills.
I love the idea of Echinacea margaritas. I found a tranquil area of woods and set up shop, just like you told me. I could really feel the pain melting away from my body.
I never knew healing could happen through tequila and flowers!
Here’s a quick question: When I get to that point of no return in regards to my pain, you told me to “pray to the God of Light.” When I pray to him, (or her? I’m so embarrassed!), how should I word it? I know you said that the God of Light actually has more power than the “God” we are all accustomed to, so he/she probably deserves some serious respect.
Also, do I have to stare directly at the sun when praying? Granted, I know that’s a big part of it, but my eyes have been killing me. Could I do that solar eclipse thing with a tiny hole in a piece of paper? I think that would really help me out.
Eucalyptus. I don’t know what that means. Your prescription slip just says, “Eucalyptus.” I went to CVS, but those commercial fat cats couldn’t help me. Big surprise there, right Gus?
I’d like to take a quick second to point out that you should be applauded in your trailblazing techniques. Running away from my fear of pain is such a smart idea. Sure, I was hesitant once I realized it actually required running because I have a torn ACL, but I wouldn’t let fear ruin my life! If I could do 15 days of P90X, I could certainly run away from my fear of pain!
Well, apparently that isn’t true. After the first step, I collapsed in a pain that can only be described as God reaching out of Heaven to physically stab me in the leg with a rusty knife while cackling, “Where’s your God of Light now?”
I tried to refuse the ambulance, but once I went unconscious, I didn’t have much of a choice.
Anyway, here I am in the hospital, and I just wanted to say thanks for all your help! You’ve turned my life around in a profound and special way. I wish you well in your future endeavors and much success in the coming years!
