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Most people say they'd never consider a long-distance relationship or, in abbreviation-speak, LDR. But that's usually before they don't have a choice. Hey, life's full of curveballs. And while we can all agree that long-distance relationships aren't ideal, they're definitely not the end of the world—or even the death knell of your relationship. In fact, with the right mindset, the right expectations, and the right pieces of long-distance relationship advice, you can have an LDR that thrives and grows stronger over time. We tapped experts for their advice on the best long-distance relationship tips, what to talk about with your long-distance partner, and more ways to keep it interesting while you're apart.
So read on, and keep the spark alive! One of the most important pieces of long distance relationship advice is to set boundaries. You don't need us to tell you that boundaries related to fidelity are important, but it turns out that personal boundaries play a huge role in relationships from afar, as well. Yup, for real.
Aside from actually having a physical relationship with someone else, experts say you can pretty much behave however you want—kind of like when you were single. Farkas M. Post pictures and statuses on social media about how you are and what you have been doing. Spend time with friends. An important question everyone seeking long distance relationship advice asks is how long you can go without seeing your partner. It will also allow you to see how they evolve as a person. You might think talking every single day when you're in an LDR is a must.
The truth is, experts say it's really not necessary and might actually be harmful to your relationship. If you go a few days without talking to your S. Plus, keeping tabs on another person and providing them with constant updates can get exhausting. Try sending a love note a spritz of your favorite cologne or perfume. It's hard to know whether things are going well in your long distance relationship if you don't have a goal in mind. Do you want to make it through a short period of separation? Eventually get married?
Stay married even though your jobs are taking you to different locations? Having an idea of what success means to you and whether or not you're getting closer to it is key when you're trying to evaluate whether things are "working" or not.
In a way that doesn't escalate, of course. Jess O'Reilly , Astroglide's resident sexologist. In fact, some of the happiest couples use extra-relational flirting as kindling to fuel their own flirtation, seduction, and sexual spark within the relationship. Maybe you love shopping, going to the gym, and seeing movies, and your partner doesn't like any of those things. Why not take advantage of your time apart and do as many of those activities as you want? This is an excellent way to find a silver lining in your time away from each other, according to Dr.
If you're wondering how to make long distance relationships work, you'll have to come clean about the fact that you're in one. To make it more normal, make sure everyone that matters to you locally friends, family, and people who want to date you knows that you're in a long-distance relationship. To be clear, you don't have to talk about your S. This mainly pertains to those who start their relationship from afar, but with online dating being more popular than ever, it's important to mention.
It's true. This piece of long distance relationship advice will serve you well in any type of relationship. All relationships experience ups and downs, but a study in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that couples who use constructive strategies for resolving disagreements, like listening to each other's point of view and trying to make their partner laugh were less likely to break up over arguments.
So instead of skipping out on a conversation that would allow you to get some grievances off your chest, use it as an opportunity to work through things as a team. Well, it's boring. Sometimes updates are necessary and relevant, but if your conversations are reduced to agenda-setting, it's unlikely that you'll feel passion—regardless of whether you're apart of together. Instead of sharing daily updates, talk about your greatest fears, celebrations and dreams.
Talk about all the things you want to do G-rated and racy once you get together. Instead of building them up in your head to be a perfect partner, try to keep things in perspective. Long distance relationships suffer when one or both parties think they are being forgotten or ignored. Special treats say more than just a phone call or text because of the special attention and time you spent in coordinating it.
True, they're not for everyone, but if you're really struggling with being apart, an open relationship may ease the solitude that comes along with LDRs. You'd be surprised how many people are open to dating an already-committed individual.
If you're in a long-term LDR, it's normal to have both great and not-so-great visits with your partner. Sometimes the pressure of seeing each other after such a long time can cause tension, even when you're actually excited to get to catch up with your S. If you have a visit that doesn't go as well as expected, don't jump to conclusions about what it means for your relationship.
Let's be real: In , sexting is a required part of being in a long distance relationship. But relying on obvious tactics all but ensures things will get boring pretty quickly. If you were in a close-distance relationship and now you're in a long-distance one, you're going to find yourself with a lot more time on your hands. This is also true if you were ly dating around and are now pursuing just one person who lives far away. Whether it's training for a marathon, brewing your own beer, or ing a bowling league, it's a helpful distraction to have something you care about to invest your newfound free time in.
Research shows that 75 percent of all engaged couples have been in a long distance relationship at some point. When put in perspective, being in an LDR feels like a lot less of a big deal. It might be awkward to talk about, but you've got to have one. For some couples, it's regular phone and video sex. For others, it's an open relationship of some kind. There's no best one, but you do need one. Doing this a couple days a week can loosen some of the deep attachment such that you miss them less without loving them less.
Make sure you engage. While you do want to make sure you're taking care of yourself first and foremost emotionally, it's also a good idea to support your S. Research also shows that the most common reason for long-distance relationships not working out is that couples don't usually plan for unexpected changes in the relationship.
The amount of time you're apart, your relative locations, and the circumstances of your separation might change over time. Be ready for this, and be willing to talk about it instead of shutting down when faced with an unexpected bump in the road. Instead of just having your typical phone call or video chat conversation, try having a proper date night.
Even if it's virtual, it can be a lovely experience. I advise my clients in long distance relationships to plan to do this to increase bonding and to feel connected. If you and your partner are within hours of each other, it's not that hard to see each other regularly. But here's a little glimmer of hope for those who are in bi-coastal or international relationships. Even though it might get tough, it's worth hanging in there!
A lot of people think that all long distance situations are doomed to fail. This is definitely not true, but if you find yourself believing it, it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Try to keep a positive mindset and remember that there are 14 to 15 million other people in America who are going through the same thing. Very few people are okay with being in an LDR forever. If you're one of those people—great. If not, think about how long you're willing to do the long distance thing. All Rights Reserved. Open side menu button. Your foolproof plan for making it work.
By Julia Malacoff August 5, Read This Next. Latest News. Smarter Living. You're likely to end up in a jam in this traffic-heavy state. If you're guilty of these habits, watch out for pests.How to keep a long distance relationship going strong
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What can you do to make your Long Distance Relationship work?